How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Randomize
