It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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