Someone shit on the floor
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
