absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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