I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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