Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize