quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
