so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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