Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
