I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
