Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
