I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
