Yo dont text me then not text me
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
