There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
