Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
