My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
