sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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