I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
