You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
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