I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
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i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
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I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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