this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
