I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize