Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
