i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
