U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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