I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
it was like his penis was on wheels.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
