so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
