i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
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