how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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