Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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