So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
