420 ftw
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
