you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
