I'm lost and stupid without you.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
