Old men and throwing up are my life now.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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