Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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