Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
