I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
