He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
