I must be too annoying 4 u.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
we're so committed to being not committed
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
