I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
