if i can run in heels then i can drive
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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