Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
