I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
