i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I bet he comes in French.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
