life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
