So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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