I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
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I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
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I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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