Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
My life is pants optional.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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