I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
