Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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