felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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