I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
