But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
