Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
