so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
