somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
