so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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