ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
my sisters under your porch take her home
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Randomize
