You made me cry and you don't even care
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
