Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize